social spark Aisling Beatha: Wistful Mermaid & Deconstruction Poem

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Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Wistful Mermaid & Deconstruction Poem

I said on day 1 of this September blog along that there would be a whole mix of things during this month.  So today I'm sharing a recent spread from my art journal followed by a poem I wrote a few years ago.  Considering this is the first face I've painted in around 2 or 3 years, and in a style that is a bit different from what I have done before, I am quite pleased with her.



I had not intended to share things from previous posts, but then I wrote yesterday's post and this poem seems so appropriate.  This was written around the start of my deconstruction.

Did you ever read a verse and think
“Did God really say that?”

Did you ever read a verse and think
“Surely something
was lost in translation”?

Did you ever read a verse and think
“I’m not sure I want any part
of a God who can
Do that
Say that
Be that way.”

No?
Maybe we
Are reading different bibles.

Did you ever read a verse and think
“If THAT is true
They Why
Does My
Life prove the opposite?”

Some would tell me
I just need more . . . . .

More what?
More faith?
More study?
More bible?
More prayer?
More church?

As if adding something more
To our overloaded lives
Our overloaded minds
Our overloaded hearts
And souls

Is going to fix ANYTHING

So maybe we need less.

Less TV?
Less distractions?
Less busy?
Less stuff?
Less . . . . ?
Less, less, less

As if taking something away
From our aching, empty hearts,
The spaces in our souls,
Emphasising what
And who
Is no longer THERE

Is going to fix anything.

It’s like we play
a giant game of Jenga
With our lives.
“Take this from here
And put it there.”
“Take A away 
And add in B.”

All the time waiting
For what seems
Inevitable

Oh come on now,
Surely you know
How this game goes.

Slowly
But surely
The tower grows
Taller
And taller
And taller it goes.
Less and less stable
No longer secure
Taller
And taller
And “Be careful”
“Watch out!”
“Don’t dare breathe.”

And everyone
Who’s playing the game
Knows what’s coming,
Hoping
Even praying
That their move
Won’t be the move
To bring it
Crashing down.

Hoping no one will see
The gaps
The empty spaces
The questions
In their hearts.

“Hold it together”
“Don’t let anyone see”
“Never mention the questions”

Well now
You
Can see me

Now you know
Now it’s clear
MY tower is not secure

But I know I’m not the only one,
And I know I’m not alone
And I can tell you I’m still hanging on
To the God by whom I’m known

To the God who knows my questions
To the God who hears my heart
To the God who knows
and hears
and loves.

Did you ever read a verse and think
“Did God really say that?”

Did you ever read a verse and think
“Surely something
was lost in translation”?

Did you ever read a verse and think
“Surely He
Can’t love Me
THIS MUCH”?

Did you ever read a verse and think
“This God,
This grace,
This mercy,
This love . . . .
This is something I have to have”?
© Jan 2014, Zoe Gregg (Aisling Beatha). All rights reserved.

If you like listening to words like this read in a British accent, or you want to see what I looked like before I got my hair cut, you can check out me reading this poem on YouTube.

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1 comment:

  1. The Jenga metaphor - whoa. So apropos.

    ReplyDelete

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