social spark Aisling Beatha: May 2016

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Welcome to my blog. I hope you enjoy your stay, however short, and find something that interests and blesses you.

The tabs just below will take you to posts of particular topics. So if you are looking for my posts on food, fitness or creativity, you will find them there. You will also find my posts on thankfulness or other more contemplative posts, as well as a set of posts with traditional blessings from a number of different cultures.

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Monday, May 16, 2016

Why I Cover My Hair (part 2 - FAQ)

If you haven't checked out the post in which I share my reasons for covering my hair, please check that out here.

In this post I want to address some of the questions people have asked and the comments I have received.

  • No, I don't have cancer. 
  • Nor am I covering my hair because I am losing it for another health related reason. 
  • No, I haven't become a Jew, or Muslim, or Sikh, or Pagan, or any other faith that covers their hair, (but on facebook I DO know a number of women from each of those faiths and more that cover their hair). 
  • No, I am not covering my hair because of religious reasons, but I believe some of my reasons are spiritual (see my previous post). 
  • No, my husband is not making me cover my hair (for anyone that knows us this question is so funny).



  • Do I cover my hair every day? Almost. I tend not to cover on the days I wash my hair purely because it takes so long to dry, being so long and thick. But I am usually covering most other days, at least for part of the day.
     
  • Is all that volume my real hair under the scarves? No. I wear what is known as a shaper or volumiser under my scarves. The particular one I use at the moment is called a Wendy Beret Volumiser and it has a built in velvet headband. If you have looked at any of my wrap photos on facebook I'll try and explain in a bit more detail, the front to back volume you see is all me, so how far back from my head it goes, is my hair in a bun in the middle. I have the stuffing in my volumiser spread out in a donut shape and my bun sits inside that. However, in the summer if it gets really hot I may resort to a velvet headband on its own and skip the volumiser.
     
  • Do the scarves really stay put all day? Absolutely, yes, BUT .... the key to keeping scarves in place all day is that previously mentioned velvet headband. Velvet has a direction to its fibres and that is what works in your favour, if you get your velvet headband the wrong way round, your scarves will slide right off.

    And there's another BUT, in that it really does depend on which scarf I am using and which wrap style I am using. Some days there is a quick trip to the ladies room to adjust or even re tie the scarf because the ends are coming out of where I tucked them, but that doesn't happen often.
     
  • Where do I get my scarves? I'm glad you asked. My volumiser, velvet headband, and some of my scarves all come from a website called Wrapunzel. It's run by a group of observant Jewish women in America and yes, they ship internationally. If you are ordering from the UK be aware of tax and VAT issues if you order over a certain amount. I try and get around that by only ordering from them when my husband is in America on business.

    The rest of my scarves come from charity shops or occasionally ebay. I've paid everything from £1 to £2.99 per scarf buying that way and I have an awesome collection.


Finally I want to address some of the comments I have received, mainly the ones that begin with
"I like your scarves, BUT ..."

"BUT your hair is such a nice colour." "BUT your hair is so beautiful."

Well, thank you for noticing. My hair is still beautiful, my hair is still a nice colour. Or is it? I could have chopped it all off or dyed it bright purple and you would never know, heehee.

and then the doozie

"BUT I miss seeing your hair."

I find this comment the most interesting. Since when has any part of my body been there for anyone else but me and possibly my husband? Would you dream of saying that about any other part of my body?

The funniest thing about this comment is that it usually comes from people who I only see once a week or less, so for whom most of my interaction with them is on facebook. I went back and checked how often I showed selfies on facebook that did show my hair in the months leading up to starting to wrap. The most recent one I found was about 10 months before I started and honestly you can't really see my hair. You have to go back 11 to 12 months to find any photos where my hair is fully visible, and before that another year back to about the same time the year before. So really, if my main interaction with you is on facebook, how much of my hair were you actually seeing anyway?

If you've read this far, thank you!

I really don't mind people asking me, I don't mind explaining my reasons either in person or by pointing them in the direction of this post. I know, however, that some women do mind. So if a woman you know has started to cover her hair and you are wondering why, think about how well you know her and how well she usually deals with that sort of questioning before you ask. Maybe, instead you could just enjoy the fact that she has found something that makes her feel beautiful and celebrate with her.

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You can check out the sites I link up to over in my sidebar. Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.

Why I Cover My Hair


Recently I have had a number of questions or comments on the fact that I have started to cover my hair most days. Since a number of those questions have come online, I thought it would be easier to write a blog post than to have to type out an answer each time. Then, when someone posts their question or comment I can point them in the direction of this post.

So, Welcome. If you have followed such a link this might be your first time visiting my blog and I hope you find something to interest you here.



When it comes to why I am covering my hair there are 3 types of answer,
  • The very short answer 
  • The short answer 
  • The long answer.

Let's start at the beginning shall we.

The very short answer 
The very short answer is that I am covering my hair because I can and because I like it. It really is as simple as that, and if that was enough answer for you, thank you for popping by.


The short answer 
The short answer is that I started covering my hair because it allows me to experiment with colour, texture and form in fabric in a way that is expensive to do in clothes, particularly for women of a larger size.
There was also a small element of protecting my hair sometimes as my hair is waist length and I usually wore it in a plait to one side so that it came forward over my shoulder. We use a gas hob for cooking at home and well, flames and long hair forward over your shoulder are not a good mix. But that really was only a small element of why I started this. Now onto the long answer.


The long answer 
The long answer as to why I cover my hair goes into more detail. I began covering my hair for both of the reasons stated in the previous answer and more but then I discovered lots of things about how it makes me feel, and those are the reasons that I continue to cover my hair, as well as the reasons I began.

First, the "more", You may not have noticed this about me, but I have an unusually HUGE head. No, seriously!  It might not look like it from the photos you see on facebook, but you should try going hat shopping with me and then you would see. In fact, a common family game when clothes shopping and we're bored is "Get Zoe to try on hats and laugh at her".  Even men's extra large hats are not big enough.  And yet, I have always wanted to wear hats; pretty hats, beautiful hats, smart hats, casual hats, hats for keeping warm (BTW Thanks Dana!!!), hats for keeping cool, etc and I can't. Covering my hair in the way that I do now, fulfils that dream.

When I cover my hair:
  • I feel more ready to face the day 
  • I feel stronger 
  • I feel more like a woman (go ahead, sing some Shania Twain, you know you want to)
  • I feel beautiful (in a world that tells me big is most definitely not beautiful) 
  • I feel connected to other women 
  • I feel like I walk taller, inside and out
  • and perhaps most importantly 
  • I FEEL MORE LIKE ME!  The me, I've always known was there, but no one else could see.
And that last reason should be enough, it is enough for me, it is enough for my husband, and that is all that matters.

In the next post I shall address some of the comments and questions that have come my way.

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You can check out the sites I link up to over in my sidebar. Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.
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